A few weeks ago, I hit a wall. I sat on my couch just a few feet from my home office and I felt almost paralyzed. I could not find the inertia to go sit at my computer and do work. My body felt twice it’s weight and the through of opening up an email or moving through my ‘to do’ list in Asana made me cringe. I didn’t recognize this feeling so I chalked it up to needing one more day to rest and relax from my busy weekend, called a good friend, made some tea and binge watched the last season of The Equalizer. The next day, I felt the same feeling of overwhelm. I know what depression feels like, but this felt different. I love the work that I do, I adore my clients and my business and I had gotten a good night’s sleep the night before, so I didn’t understand the feeling deep in my gut that weighed me down. It wasn’t until my best friend called to check on me that I realized what I was experiencing - complete burnout. As a solo parent and entrepreneur during the pandemic, I had stretched myself beyond maximum capacity. While most of the world slowed down, I took on additional work for a local non profit, faced an enormous amount of new tax laws to learn, extensions and folks needing their tax refunds. I was busier than ever. I also suffered deep losses, attended several funerals and had to manage my own household and my young people who were struggling with their own mental health. I cried when I realized just how much I have been carrying the past few years. That emotional release was the first step I took back to restoration. I’m still on that journey, and wanted to share eight things that are helping me recover:

1. Finding a free online or in person support group - If you are able to find a therapist, please do, but for those who are not able to find or afford one, a parenting or business owner support group online or in your community can be a lifesaver. It helps to be able to express the feelings in a safe space.

2. Starting my morning with prayer/meditation/stretching - I no longer wake up and hit the ground running. I take some time to stretch, breathe deeply, drink water and/or tea and I feel good that I prioritized myself.

3. Shortening my work week to four days and starting my days an hour later - I chose one day during the week to clear my calendar and focus on self-care (I call it #takecareofmetuesday)I don’t schedule anything work related on those days, unless it supports my mental health.

4. Returning to my Yoga Nidra practice - I am fortunate enough to have an ally in my community who offers weekly classes which focuses on achieving deep, restorative rest. I highly recommend Tracee Stanley’s book Radiant Rest! If yoga isn’t for you, start walking or weight training to relieve the stress and help you rest better at night.

5. Listening to my inner voice and asking for help - If I look at my calendar for the week and start feeling overwhelmed I ask my virtual assistant to reschedule some of my appointments. If necessary I will refer clients to someone who can meet their need if it’s a pressing matter.

6. Journal - It helps me at night especially, to brain dump and get everything out of my head onto paper before I go to sleep

7. Being intentional about seeking Sun/peace during the day - I make sure I step away from my computer/laptop during lunch and go out and get sun if possible. If it’s a rainy day, I put my phone down and ready about 10 pages of a book that I’ve been wanting to finish, before I go back to work.

8. Incorporate something from my joy list in my day/week - I have a list of twenty things that bring me instant joy when I practice/experience them and I look at it and try to incorporate at least one thing in my day. It can be as easy as hugging a tree, sitting in the sun, or getting a hug from my kids or a kiss from my love. If it’s the beach, plan a quick morning trip to your nearest ocean.

My loves, I hope you found some of this helpful. I see you, and I’m burnt out too, but I hope that we can start to see the light and feel the sun and recover the visions that we have for this world. We are all here for a reason, and I want you to shine like the diamond you are, starting from the inside.

Always, Tonita #thequeenofmoney