Sometimes it feels overwhelming trying to stay on top of all of the different National Week of .. and National Month of.. especially when you’re managing life in and outside of your business. Even when I try my best to be inclusive, there are often times that I fall short, and I have to admit to myself that my thinking can be unconsciously biased.

I was raised by a black man, born and raised in the forties and fifties - a time ripe with segregation and racism - who enlisted in the armed forces and came home to live in a country that didn’t respect his time served. He lived in a city with immigrants competing for the same working class jobs. My dad didn’t talk much about how it felt to live in those times, but I could feel the anger and sense the pain that he carried like a huge bag of coal on his shoulders. I do recall his story about Citizens Bank, and how they wouldn’t allow him to deposit his first check from the postal service because they didn’t believe he could make that much money. He developed a distrust for not only his oppressors but anyone who wasn’t African American. I would be disowned if I dated anyone else.

Luckily I left Philadelphia with a full ride to high school at a boarding school outside of Washington DC. I spent years with girls from all over the world and learned more about different cultures than I would have if I stayed home. I still have never dated a white man, but during my high school and college years, mostly all of my relationships were with men from Latin America, the Caribbean, Asia or a blend of ethnicities.

I was recently asked to present the opening session at a Media Fellows Revenue Summit in Philadelphia, I assumed it would be black and brown folks and had to quickly adjust my planned speech when I noticed there were also Asian Americans in the audience. Because I was also raised by a loving mother and had the experience of being in close fellowship with women from all over the world in boarding school, I was able to see their royalty and beauty, listen to their stories of generational money rituals and trauma, empathize with their stories, learn from their wisdom and strength and hold space for their tears. It was such a beautiful experience and I appreciated all of the accolades I received after my session, but it was I who walked away wiser and eager to continue the learning.

If you want to learn more about the Asian American and Pacific Islander communities click the link below to find great resources for yourself and the youth in your lives. We need all of us to win. Let us all give one another grace during these times, and be open to live with and love one another. I believe that the only way to true freedom is in community.

~ Tonita

AAPI Resources for learning