Radical Rest may piss some people off, but find the space to rest anyway

Hey, how are you? I wanted to reach out and check in with my Queendom. If you follow me on social media, you may have noticed that I haven’t been posting much. I made the decision to close down after the intense tax season and it was the best decision I’ve made in a long time. As much as I love the work I do, sitting in front of a computer, reviewing numbers for hours at a time - often for 10-12 hour days during this season - is taxing on so many areas of my body and definitely a strain for the mind. In addition to the labor, the stress and responsibility of staying abreast of all of the state and federal tax laws and managing client inquiries is primarily the reason why so many are leaving the accounting profession. Even with me providing advanced notice to clients, some insisted on getting their needs met during the time that I prioritized rest. I chose to rest anyway. Not everyone will understand or they may even be insulted about your choice to prioritize yourself, but rest anyway. Maybe they will learn something and maybe they’re just not your people if they’d respect your decision to preserve your health.

Self care for me is self preservation. I learn so much about myself when I make the commitment to prioritize my mental health and wellness. As a Leo sun, Taurus moon, Cancer rising, I am the ultimate caregiver and I love providing for and nurturing my children and family and I extend that loving kindness to my clients. It makes me feel good and honestly I’m good at it. However, in 2020 during the pandemic, I took on way too much, not realizing that my teenagers would need me so much more during the shut down. My health and sanity suffered. My children who were struggling with their new confinement also worried each time I coughed, that they would lose me to Covid.

I really struggled during the 2021 tax season, making sure I kept up to date with all of the tax laws that seemed to change every other week, manage my staff (one who had a medical emergency in the middle of tax season), marketing my business and supporting my clients who were forced to close down. I went for my regular checkup and blood test. All of my numbers were elevated - blood pressure, cholesterol, weight and I was at risk for pre-diabetes. It was a wakeup call for me. I signed up with a personal trainer and paid more attention to the amount of food, water, sleep and movement I was feeding my body.

It was at the same time that I was introduced to yoga Nidra through my teacher Suki Kernes and was introduced to her teacher, Tracee Stanley. Her book Radiant Rest, was an awakening for me. I also started following other teachers like Octavia Raheem and the Nap Ministry on Instagram and uncovered a new awareness within me of how deeply the grounding work of money management was connected to the “grind” mentality.

It’s a difficult tight rope to walk, balancing my holistic practices while working within a system of money and taxes steeped in capitalism and patriarchy. Yet in the world we live in today, in order to sustain our families and businesses we have to find a way to be responsible and also respond to our own needs in the moment. I noticed how difficult it was not to touch my computer or answer emails the first week. The second week I was settled into the silence of my calendar notification beeps, and choosing to rise late, and seek out the fun activities around town that brought me joy. The third week I felt a bit of anxiety around returning back to the normal schedule, and was grateful for time spend talking and laughing with my therapist. She reminded me that I dont’ have to be a slave to this system. That even if people demand my time and attempt to transfer their stress and urgency to me, I am still able to choose for myself what I will take on at any given time and day. I am fortunate that just for today, I am in control of how I spend my energy and who and what I spend it on.

So as I take a slow walk back to my open calendar next week, I want to encourage you to find one way that you can make space for rest in your day. Maybe eat a small lunch and spend the remaining 15 minutes of your lunchtime near water, taking a walk or snuggled up in an empty board room meditating or taking a nap. If you’re a business owner can you entertain the notion of not calling that client back right away; using the snooze button on emails that you don’t have the capacity to respond to today; asking your VA to take your calls/emails so that you can take a day/half day off to rest which the house is quiet? How can you make find opportunities to rest in your daily schedules?

I appreciate all who have honored this time I needed to take for myself, and I hope that a few have been encouraged to do the same.

In Solidarity/

Tonita